Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize