You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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