my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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