Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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