butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
