Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This is the high leading the old right now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
