Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
