you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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