Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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