If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
