So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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