i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
