Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
