Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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