You really coming over, don't trick.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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