Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize