was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
