party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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