I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize