is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I deserve this hangover.
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