weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
