do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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