i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
