i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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