I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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