You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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