So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How external is "for external use only"?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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