So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
