He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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