Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
