I got chris browned last night
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
