i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i now understand why vodka
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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