I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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