Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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