Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
