You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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