Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
