I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
