Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
