Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize