it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
