Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Everyone says I win the strip club
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
