You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
