Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize