I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
