I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
