The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
