i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
