Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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