if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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