nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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