Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im six kinds of drunk right now
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
