i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
