Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
