Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize