you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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