I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
