well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
