How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize