i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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