We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
