one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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