The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
