3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
