apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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