his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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