the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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