PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
