What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
