Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
