Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize