apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
