New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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