I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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