Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
