She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
