He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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