we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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