OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tell her she can't have a vagina
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
