Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
