I got chris browned last night
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize