i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
